Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Z Report - From Vancouver....a favorite!


Butler Filming in Vancouver
"No, don't know where Gerry is!"
"Ye think PB is still mad at me?"
The Z Report


Today the Z report has an exclusive Q & A with Gerard Butler, star of 300 and the more recent PS I Love You.

We caught up with Mr. Butler at the Opus Bar in Yaletown, Vancouver, where he is meeting with Zack Snyder to hash out the details of Snyder's vision of the "mad" mariner, whose voice Butler will do in the Black Freighter portion of Watchmen to be featured on the DVD in the form of an anime cartoon.

An unusually relaxed Butler was sipping his signature coca cola and looking around the popular lobby lounge when I got there and sat down opposite him. Comfortable in jeans and a leather jacket, the good looking actor greeted me with a charming smile. After exchanging pleasantries and ordering an iced tea, we got right down to business.

Z: Are you staying here at the Opus?

GB: Ah'd raither not say, as ah'm tryin' to protect ma privacy a bit this time aroun'.

Z: This time?

GB: Yeah, last time ah was in Vancouver ah was filmin' Butterfly on a Wheel an' ma hotel asked me "naiver to grace their doorstep wi' ma presence again!" as they put it.

Z: Your hotel did that? Why?

GB. Well, among other things, cause they were inundated wi' calls from people complainin' about wimmin walking up an' down the halls at all hours o' the night tryin' to find ma room.

Z: The hotel guests complained to the management?

GB: Well, in actual fact,  I got to think it was Pierce Brosnan, as he was pissed at me cause some wumman knocked on his door at 1:30 one night an' when he answered the door, half asleep an' practically naked, the wumman looked down at his shorts an' said "YOU"RE not Gerard Butler!"

Butler starts laughing.

Z: (laughing) You're kidding, right? That didn't really happen?

GB: Aye, it did! And when he said he wisna an' slammed the door in her face, she bangs on the door again an' told him he was a rude bugger an' should pack up and go back to Ireland! (laughs) Ye have to hear him tell the story tae get the real flavor though and ah'll tell ye, that's one Irish Mick who dinna take the insult tae his cock lyin' down!

Z: And that's why he complained to the hotel?

GB: Ah'h think this incident was the last straw, since he was the star o' the movie an' ah was supposed tae be relatively unknown. But ma fans were raisin' a ruckus in town durin' filming an' kept askin' him where ah was every time they saw him.

Z: You said among other things. What were the "other" things?

GB: Ah think it had tae do wi' ma fraternisin' wi' employees o' the hotel or somethin'!   Pairsonally, ah think one o' the guys who worked there was jealous cause his girl hit on me, so it wisna only the fans.

Z: Well we do know some of your fans have a reputation for being over-zelous in their affections for you. Does it bother you?

GB: Only when it puts ma life in peril, like here.
 Z: In peril how?

GB: Next day we shot the car crash scene in the parking structure an' Pierce wis smilin' at me kin' o' funny throughout the whole thing.

Z: You think he was seriously mad at you?

GB: (grinning) Nah, Pierce is a cool guy, but he did have this maniacal glint in his eyes that almost made me think it wisna all actin'.

Z: To what do you attribute all the attention you get from the other gender?

GB: Which gender is that? (laughs) Just kiddin'! Ah dinna know. What am ah supposed tae say to that? They think ah'm pretty?

Z: No, but you do have this following among women of all ages that dwarfs even A list actors like Brad Pitt. How do you explain it?

GB: It's ma big *beep*! (laughs) Just kidding.  I don't know. Ah got some smart fans, as well as some kooky ones, but ah honestly dinna know whit they see in me.  Ah'm just a regular guy who likes to cut up sometimes. They say they like ma actin'  I guess, although some tell me it's the chairm o' ma burr.

Butler pauses and gets serious.

GB: But tae be fair, there's a bunch o' em that are no' sae fond o' me too. Ah canna think what the de'il ah've done tae deserve the wrath either. (laughs) Ah guess ah'm a love him or hate him kin' o' guy.

Z: So are you excited to be working with Zack Snyder again?

GB: Well ah'm no' sure how much time we'll spend together, but he has some definite ideas oan how he wants the Mariner played an' ah have a few o' ma own after readin' the script, so it will be a matter o' givin' the anime a voice we kin agree oan.

Z: Will you be using your own accent for the the voice over?

GB: There were a lot o' Scots settling in the area in the time frame o' this particular story line, so it wouldna be too far out doin' it that way. But we'll see how it works out!

Z: You've come a long way in the short time since 300 was released and you're one of the busier actors in Hollywood at the moment. How has that affected you and changed your life?

GB: (thinking) Ah get more chocolates oan ma pillow when they do the turn down service in ma room? (laughs)

Oh yeah, and now ah'm gettin' more invitations to some cool parties, although ah'm gettin tiret o' havin'  to do the "This is Sparta!" bit every time I walk in the room so they'll know who ah am.

Z: It's either that or show them the teeth, eh?

GB: Whit's this thing ye got wi' ma teeth? Every time ah read yer report ye're talkin' aboot ma teeth. Somethin'  the matter with them?

Z: I've always wondered if you take them out at night?

GB: (surprised) What?

Z: It's a joke. A joke. (laughs)

GB: (frowning suspiciously) Okay. Long as it's a joke.

Z: They were just "so out there" in 300, they made an impression on me. But they DO go very nicely with your lips.

GB: (eyes narrowing) Are ye makin'  fun o' me?

Z: Not at all. Well, maybe just a little. However, with all the shouting you had to do, it would have been very difficult without showing your teeth.

GB: (shifting uncomfortably) Kin we talk about somethin' else? Ah'm sure ma dentist would thank ye, but ah'm no' really very fond o' visitin' him an' in ma profession, ah have to see his face hoverin' over me enough as it is.

Z: Well of course it's in an actor's best interest to keep up regular visits to the dentist AND the dermatologist, and in your case, the gym and the hair colorist.

GB: None o' which are ma favorite things tae do. (laughs) Ah hate havin' tae get up early too! (soberly) Come tae think o' it, the only thing ah really like about ma profession is actin' an' gettin' paid. The rest ye kin have!

Z: We've heard conflicting reports that you are a loner by nature, but you'll talk to a rock? Are you a loner?

GB: Sometimes. Other times ah got to have someone tae talk to. Ah like havin' a good time and hangin' wi' ma friends too!   An' , o' course, some occasional female company is nice. A little bit o' everythin' is guid, although....well.. Naiver mind!

Z: You were rumored to have a girlfriend for a while. Don't you miss havin' someone to cuddle up to at night?

GB: Ah get plenty o' cuddlin' when ah want it. Even ma dog likes tae cuddle, but then ah like no' havin' someone waking me up by pokin' me in the ribs regularly fer snorin'.

Z: In otherwords, you like being a bachelor on the prowl?

GB: No' on the prowl, but ah dae like variety! Besides, ah'm naiver in one place long enough to wirk on a relationship that will last.

Z: There's always the phone.

GB: Naw. The long distance thing disna work fer me cause they canna read ma lips. Ah've tried it before an' all ah'd got was "Slow down! or What did you say?" Kind o' hard tae carry oan a conversation when the other pairty disnae understand ye.  Ah git tiret o' repeatin' maself. Fu c-k! Ah get enough o' that wi readin' ma lines.

Z: I know this has been asked before, but what do you look for in a woman that is not a single word answer?

GB: (laughing) Ah'll never live that one down will I?

Z: You mean the V word?

GB: That'd be the one!

Z: So give us some substance this time!

GB: (shrugging) Well...... it depends what ah'm lookin' fer when ah'm leuking fer her.

Z: Okaaaaaay.

GB: Ye see?   If ye really want me tae be honest ye're no' goin' tae like what I have tae say.

Z: Okay, I asked for it. Let her rip.

GB: Well, if ah say ah'm leukin' fer someone smart an' comfortable in her skin an' then ah'm pictured flirtin' wi' a cute young thing, ah get ripped apart fer saying one thing an' what is perceived as doin' I got tae qualify it an' tell ye it all depends oan what ah need or want at any given time.

Besides, how do ah know what ah really want until I see it? Ah kin say a million things, but if ah just want a little bit o' company an' maybe some lovin', it's not especially goin'  tae be "the one." Ye know what ah mean?

Z: I guess so. Is there a specific type you're attracted to?

GB: Yeah. Breathin'. (laughs) No, aye. Ah like em tall, pretty, an' confident. Ah like that in the guys too! (laughs) Just kidding!

Z: Are you a breast man?

GB: Yeah, sure! They've got tae be bigger than mine! (laughing)   Nah, actually ah'm an arse man. Ah dinna have one, so the wumman has tae have one ah can set ma cell phone oan!

Z: Blondes, brunettes or redheads?

GB: Depends oan whether it's their true color or no' an' that takes some research. (laughs) Ah like em all. Same fer skin color. Although ah do have to confess tae a soft spot for the ladies o' color. An' certain accents tarn me oan too!

Z: Age?

GB: Ah'm no' touchin' that one wi' a ten foot pole. (laughs again) Use yer imagination!

Z: Fair enough. Can we deduce that if you are waiting for the "right one" you haven't met her yet?

GB: Ye could say that.

Z: Are you enjoying being the action hero?

GB: (grinning) Action hero? Well if yer talkin' about a certain kin' o' action....yeah!

Seeriously, ah'm no' leukin' tae make a career out o' bein' an action hero an' ah got tae keep sayin' that loudly kis ah won't be categorized.

Z: What roles do you want to do?

GB: Ah want tae do em all. (thoughtfully) An' some days, lately, ah just want tae be me.

Z: And what is it like being you?

GB. Ah'm a handful, or so some folks tell me!

Thinking over what he said, he starts laughing again.

GB: See nae matter what I say, it comes out wrong. Ah'm a jokester. Ah'm fun to be aroun'. Or sae ma friends tell me!

Z: Well Mr. Jokester, can you tell me anything about this new secret project that's been buzzed around on the internet?

GB: No' a wort!  Not yet!

He looks at his watch.

Z: One more question. Who is your favorite co-star to date?

GB: That's a hard one to answer. Ah've liked em all. But ah think if ah had tae name one ah really bonded with  ah'd have tae say ....Jeffery Dean Morgan! (laughs)

Z: It wasn't a trick question.

GB: Yeah, but ma publicist made me promise ah'd no' alienate anyone, cause ye never know who'll offer ye yer next good role. (thinking it over) But if ah had tae do the Roman Holiday thing.....

"Hilary! By all means, Hilary!" (laughs)

Z: Thanks for being a good sport!

GB: Ma pleasure, but do me a favor in retarn, would ye?

Z: Sure, what is it?

GB: Could ye no' mention ma teeth anymore. Ah' dinna want to get on the "toothy tile" list again! (laughs)

Z: You got it!

All in all, a memorable interview!

Signing off from Vancouver, BC

Zoni with a Z (but pronounced like an S)

Disclaimer: The above interview is entirely fictional and took place in the mind of the writer only.


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