Saturday, March 26, 2011

Gerry and Jessica B. together? Of Course.

Why shouldn't they be together?  They are new in town and about to start a new movie.  Has anyone heard of "getting to know your co-star?"

I have to really laugh at all the gossip sites pushing this one up the hill with the usual variations of the original item posted several days ago and some, not even doing a good job at it.

The next thing that follows is people speculating which actor's people are using this to their advantage. Once this phase of it starts, the quantity and viciousness of it is amazing.  Last time out it was poor Jennifer Aniston who took the brunt of it.  Now it is Jessica Biel, the victim of misplaced speculation due to her recent breakup with boyfriend Justin Timberlake.

People love to put celebrities down because it makes them feel better about their own,  possibly dull, lives.  Every time I see some of the people commenting on these stories that are put out there, it makes me realize how many mean people there are...wanting to write something nasty about someone or something they have no first hand information about.  Any excuse will do to keep the story going...and boy do they.  For some it's a part of their job to be snarky, but what about the souls that lap it up like mother's milk then think it's okay and the normal way to treat others?

I've seen Jessica B on two different occasions and very up close.  While she is very attractive on screen, she seems very normal and pretty in the flesh,  but not necessarily someone you would sit and gawk at if you didn't know who she was.  She dresses very conservatively, not necessarily calling attention to herself  through her stylish, but not flashy a lot of less pretty girls tend to do to grab attention, particularly if they have a figure.

L.A. style is not necessarily the best, if you know anything about fashion, but JB has her own style and I think she is in Shreveport  to do her job and get on with her life and hopefully do some credible acting in this movie.  Gerry is her boss and her co-star...and a very friendly one, as anyone who has been watching him for any length of time, will know.   I think she deserves a break from all the nastiness.

As for Gerry.... being a very outgoing and flirty male, especially in a small town, he is naturally going to gravitate towards his pretty co-star for companionship.  That is a very normal thing to do.  Someone like Biel, just having gone through a break up, might find him very sympathetic towards her.  It is a normal human thing to feel for someone.  But just because they are attractive celebrities under the normal microscope of the press and the fans, it does not mean they are going to jump into the sack from day one.

It also doesn't mean that at some point, human nature being what it is, they might not share some warm communion (in whatever form that communion may take) .  But that is a far cry from "being together" in the hyped scenarios people have been making up from the moment they hit town. I guess reality doesn't sell as well as let's see what we can come up with.  Smoke and mirrors indeed!

The next thing you know, people will start with the stupid name combinations...probably one of the more asenine things I ever heard of.  To me it always smacks of celebs are not human beings and therefore it is okay to trivialize them by making them only worthy of being a half of something rather then as individuals in their own right.   Yes, I know some times there are some celebs who deserve these kinds of things, but to adopt it from one instance where it might have been cute to another set of circumstances?   How boring and unimaginative is that?  I suppose some need it to be cute?  I find it downright silly.

And people complain about the shallowness of Hollywood?

I am just hoping Playing the Field will be more than it sounds like from afar or that it will at least be entertaining.    If it is not,  then we will all have a basis on which to criticize and critique the performances and the people involved for not making it something worthy of watching.

Until then, or until we have some proof that there is much more than a simple, normal flirtation going on between these two people, let's try not to insult people's intelligence by writing or repeating nonsense.   Smart people see right through it and hopefully are getting tired of the same old hype!

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

The Outlandisher: Chap. 17 The Cock and Ball

After taking their leave of Rusty Elvaino,  Gerry and Jamie were seated at the dining room table wolfing down the last of Dominican take out, Jamie washing his down with beer and Gerry with his afternoon latte, when one of his phones starts ringing.

GMcB:  Hi darlin' .  Nice to hear from ye.  Are ye in town?  (frowning)  Ahh, that's too bad....


"I know I promised, but..."
GMcB:   Well,  yeah, I remember tellin' ye that, but....


GMcB:   No, honestly, I'm not blowin' ye off, it's just that, well, ye'll naiver believe it anyway, but I was in Scotland for a while vistin' relatives....kind an emergency, ye ken?


GMcB:  Yeah, I know I promised, but ...


GMcB:  Well be sure to call me next time ye're in town.   If I'm here I promise ye dinner at the least, okay?


GMcB:  Yeah, o' course I had a good time with ye?   


GMcB:  Ye know how it is lass.  Listen, I gotta go.  I got company.


GMcB:   No, not a she!  A fellow Scot.   But if it were a she?


GMcB:  (sighing deeply)  I'm sorry ye feel that way, but we agreed we would keep it simple.  No strings.


GMcB:   (banging the phone on the table)  My phone's cuttin' out.  I'll call ye back!

Hanging up the phone, he buries it under a pillow and piles a couple of more on top of it before returning to the table.  The phone rings again, but very muffled.

GMcB:  I knew all those pillows would come in handy fer something.

He takes a sip of his latte.

GMcB:   Fuck!  It's cold aaready.  

Turning to Jamie.

GMcB:   Ye see, this is a pairfect example o' why I prefer a girl like Elisa.    Bloody women want yer arm and yer leg when ye just want a little lovin'  fer the night an' once ye see em more than once or twice, they think they own ye.   I'm not ready to be owned by anythin' or anyone.  I got too much goin' on. 

JMcF:  Ye'd think a bloke yer age would want a home and family.

GMcB:  Would ye quit wi' the age thing!  Times have changed.   Today one out o'  every two marriages ends up in divorce.   I don't want to join the statistics yet, aye?   

JMcF:  (shrugs)   If ye're Catholic, that shouldna be a problem.

GMcB:  Well I'm not that kind o' Catholic.  Besides, I travel all the time and  I'm never in one place long enough to make a nest with anyone.   I'm not the nestin' type I'  a girl like Elisa is hot and knows just what I need.   She disna give me any crap, already knows the worst about me an' I don't have to worry about catchin'  anything from her.  She's checked regular like and I pay her enough she disna have to sleep around.

JMcF:   Aye, but dinna ye ever crave a sweet, innocent girl?

GMcB:   Sure, but there arna too many sweet,  innocent girls anymore.  And if ye like em too young, ye get sent up the river fer a stretch.... in prison.  There are laws.....

JMcF:  Really?   How young is too young?   

GMcB:   Anyone under 18.

JMcF:  (incredulous)  You canna be serious, man?

GMcB:  Ye'd better believe it, lad!  Trust me, I've come close making that mistake more than a few times.  In my business it's too easy to get in trouble wi' everyone looking over ye're shoulder and girls comin' on to you all the time.  Ye almost have to check I.D.'s   If ye think today was was nothing.

JMcF:  I.D.'s?

GMcB:   Yeah.  Papers people carry to prove their age.  Usually a driver's license....a paper that gives ye permission to drive a car  and proves ye're old enough to drink.

JMcF:  (incredulous)   Tae drink?   Boy,  ye seem to need papers fer everything here.  What a bother.

Thinking furiously.

JMcF:  Dae ye need papers to fornicate too?

GMcB:  (laughing)  Not quite, but sometimes it pays to carry a little paper listing  results of recent medical tests for diseases of a sexual nature.

JMcF:  Ye mean like tae declare ye havena got the pox?

GMcB:  (grinning)  Something like that....the names are different but yeah....every once in a while someone more discerning will ask.

JMcF:  (scratching his head)  Well that's not altogether a bad thing is it?

GMcB:  Not if everyone were honest and up front  about it, but they aren' you have to be careful as well as honest.   It's a very complicated dance sometimes....even though some people think I just jump into the sack wi' every woman I meet.  If  they only knew how not true that was.   (grinning)   Every other one maybe... but....  Besides, being with those sweet, young things is sometimes more dangerous in that area too.   That's a hard one to learn in more ways than one.

JMcF:  Ye mean getting someone wi' child?

GMcB:  No,  but that's another whole set of problems and another reason to avoid certain situations.  Some women still use that one to get ye to marry them and I have no desire to be a father just yet, if ever.  That will never happen with Elisa and her counterparts, condoms or not.

JMcF:  Ye mean ye have others like Elisa?

GMcB:  Maybe.   Makes life easier on people like me.    If ye got money, someone is going to want some of it, one way or the other.  I just like to choose where it goes. (laughs)  I mean the money too!   It took me a while to learn that one.

JMcF:  (scratching his head)  So how are we going to find Captain Randall?  From the looks of the place, he hasn't gone back there.

GMcB:  Well,  I've got someone watching the loft, so if he comes back we'll know.  But I think a good place to start is some of the S and M bars.  Ye up to some adventure?

JMcF:   I thought ye'd never ask.  I was getting a little tired o' sittin' around.   By the way, what is an S & M bar?

GMcB:   (grinning mischievously)  Wait an' see highlander.   Wait and see.

Jamie shrugs.

GMcB:  Come on.   We're going to have to dress for the part ...  I know someone who can help with that.

JMcF:  Dress for the part?

Three hours and some fine tuning later, Gerremy McButler and Jamie McFraser were standing  in front of The Cock and Ball.  Unrecognizable in variations of  leather pants,  sleeveless shirts, fake  tats on their upper arms, myriad chains, spike leather neck belts, fake sideburns, and leather boots,  they looked like something out of Mad Max the Road Warrior.  Jamie's long hair was pulled back in a thick ponytail.  He was shaking his head.

The Cock and Ball
JMcF:   I feel like a fool!  Are ye sure this is the way to go aboot this?

GMcB:  Ye said ye wanted to be an actor...well this calls fer some play actin'.  Follow my lead.  We got to get to the back room o' this place, cause if our Captain is here, that's were he'll be.   One of my friends says this place is the real thing an' not just some fantasy pretend for gay blades.

JMcF:   Speak Scottish, man.   What nonsense are ye talkin"?

GMcB:  Gay is the term for men who like men in this day and age.   Some of them like to play dress up at times and this S & M is a part of it, but there are some who are really into the pain thing.  If we can find those hard core types,  I'm bettin' our dragoon will be around, unless he's found a way into the private underground clubs.  If that's the case, maybe someone has seen him.

JMcF:  We'll if we find him, he's mine.  I owe him for the stripes on my back, ye ken?

GMcB:  Ye're welcome to him...but ye got to promise he goes back through the mirror wi' ye.  I canna afford him recognizing me and tellin' tales.

JMcF:  When I finish wi' him there may not be a lot to take back...

GMcB:  Suit yerself, but not in public, ye hear?  The cops will lock us up again and my publicist had a hell o' a time keepin' that little incident quiet.

JMcF:  Well, let's get on wi' it man!  These tight britches are riding up ma arse and I canna wait to take them off.

GMcB:  (chuckling)  I'm sure there will be someone inside who'd be willin' to take on that chore.

Gerremy steps forward and through the door, Jamie's dirty look boring a hole through his neck.

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction that exists only in the twilight zone of the writer's mind. Any and all resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Wearing Two Hats

Gerard Butler donned his producer hat and flew out of LAX yesterday to do some pre-production duties  on Playing The Field, the romantic comedy which starts filming on March 31st in Shreveport, LA.

Now when I talk about his producer hat I take it you understand that I am not talking about the hat he is wearing in this photo, although I suppose this COULD literally be his producer hat, if he so chooses.

Official Producer's  Hat?
It wouldn't be a bad thing if he does choose to make it so because I have a sentimental attachment to gray knit caps and that particular one seems to be a favorite of his too.  While he looks quite fetching wearing it in a lot of the recent photos we have seen of him,  I love it not only because of that "fetchingness,"  but because my mother had an attachment to one just like it...a cashmere in the same color I gave her for Christmas about 5 years ago.

In her last few years of life, as soon as the weather turned cold, out came the cap.   My sisters would give her new ones, with matching gloves, but she would put them away and if there was a strong breeze of any kind, she would put the thing on her head to keep the wind from messing her hair and keep her head warm.

By this time, the cap had seen better days, but she would not be parted with it, even when two of my siblings started teasing her about looking like a bag lady on her outings to the doctor. My mother would just make a face at them.  She never went out without putting on a little blush and some soft lipstick so that in reality, the hat did look cute on her.

As some of you know, when people get older and lose  body weight and bone mass, they have problems controlling their body temperatures.  She was either too hot (having literal flushes) or too cold.  She would rise at 5:00 A.M. and on would go the hat before she even had her morning cup of coffee.

I teased my daughter the other day, when she asked me what happened to grandma's little hat, by telling her I had given it to Gerry (and sent her to Just Jared for the proof).

So I suppose that little grey cap has joined a few of the other endearing things about Gerry that make me like him, producers hat or not.

Mixed feeling?
As I was looking at a few of the other airport photographs, I couldn't help looking at this one and think that he has mixed feelings about this journey....excitement at starting a new project, but at the same time a little sadness at leaving behind his friends and what I think was a fairly nice little stretch of time spent in La La land this time around.

He has a tough time ahead of him, wearing two hats on this project.  While we may look on at the glamour of his life from the outside, a lot of it is hard work and long hours.  We know that Gerry sometimes puts his all in whatever he does, whether it's having fun or working and,  I think he spends a lot of sleepless nights on both of them too.

After reading about Steven Soderbergh, who said he is retiring after his next two projects and understanding that they are different people and circumstances,  it just confirms for me how demanding and time consuming making movies can be when a producer is really involved in a project, much less being the lead actor too.

So I wish him well on this movie and hope that, in addition to learning a little more on the curve of producing your own projects,  he also has another successful one on his hands.   I'm sure I'm safe in saying that Shreveport, LA. will never be the same when Gerard Butler and company leave the area after the shoot.

Wish I could be there to see some of it...but I'm sure we will some how stay informed on a little of what happens there.

Go get em kid!  And take care of the *hat, will ye!

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

*ALL of my my mother's things remain untouched since her death late last year.  

Friday, March 11, 2011

A Lesson in Perseverance

Poor baby!  That was the thought I had when I saw a string of photos from Gerard Butler's day yesterday.  Sometimes it's kind of easy to read between the lines, his own face telling the story.  If I'm off base, it's still a very probable speculation, so I'll go with it as long as everyone recognizes that that is what this is.  I do recognize the locations because they are some of my own haunts.

For a guy who is not known for his patience (at least outwardly so), his adventure yesterday was a lesson in just that, if the photos are to be believed.  What started out as a normal trip to the gym (if anything in a star's life can be called normal), to work out and be in shape for his up coming movies,  it ended up in what looks to me to be a trip through several well known West Hollywood spots, trying to lose the paparazzi that started dogging him  the moment he parked his car blocks from his gym.

Hungry after his workout, he probably decided he wanted a bite to eat.
Armed with his I-Pad and some possible scripts therein to read, he tried the first one, only to discover the place had no Wi-Fi (either that or he was meeting a luncheon companion he preferred not to bring attention to) so he left, still followed by his tails.

Along the way, he takes pleasure in teasing them, probably all the while cursing under his breath, before he finds another place and grabs a seat...any seat will do in his quest.

This photo shows him talking to what I imagine to be, a perfect stranger, as he teases the pap that he has found someplace to settle and they can take a break.

The photos of him ducking out the back way... I'm not sure if these are after leaving the first location or a different one, but what jumps to the eye is that he was so very obviously trying to lose them or lead them on a merry chase.    He wasn't going to make it easy for them if they were going to stalk him, but he did it with good humor.  It was too beautiful a day to let the paparazzi spoil his outing.  I thinking he's perverse that way because it's exactly what I would do in his shoes and a certain absurd perversity is called for in situations like this.

Good on you Gerry.  The pap got their pictures, your fans got to see them...and by the look pretty damned good.

And, oh,  for all the critics of your attire this day, tell them this is Southern California and you were going to the gym, not a fucking fashion shoot!   You just can't please some people can you?

Stay cool, man...and skip the waves in Hawaii for a few days until the outer ripples of this horrible tragedy that has befallen Japan, calms down.



Other photos from Gerry's adventure courtesy of Just Jared and X17 Online.  I always get the feeling that every day is adventure day in Butler land and one of the reasons we like him!

In and out the doors.
They're right over there!

@*$#~bloody pap!

Which way can I go, mate?

And what is your name darlin'?

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

Friday, March 4, 2011

Bouillabaisse Anyone?

Photo courtesy of Just Jared
I see that the muse is waiting for a lunch date with someone at Comme Ca.

Good choice Butler!  I go there when I'm in the mood for the informality and for the Bouillabaisse (with lobster).  When I was there a few weeks ago, I started off with 1/2 doz. oysters and the beet salad and followed the French seafood stew with the profiteroles for dessert.   Funny with all the times I've been there, I've never gone for lunch. What a splendid idea.

I like sitting in the front of the restaurant, although for privacy  and quiet, the back room is probably more desirable.  

Like some restaurants, the men and women's restroom share communal sinks.  Can you imagine coming out of the ladies room and finding him standing near you washing his hands?   It wouldn't be the first time I've encountered a celeb under those circumstances. 

One of my favorite things to do when I have reservations  for dinner (advisable) is to go early, check out the jeans at Helmut Lang (great fit through thighs and bum), the sweaters at Theory and the dresses at DVF on the corner, then walk back down to Comme Ca to dine.  My favorite waiter always comes over to greet me.  He's a very polite young guy and from the very first time he waited on me he never fails to come over and  say hello, whether he is my waiter  for the night or not.  It makes me feel welcome, especially if I am dining solo. 

I wonder what G had for lunch?   I'm sure most of his fans are more interested in knowing who he was waiting for.   I would hazard a guess, but he deserves  privacy and it would  be a safe guess at most.

I hope he enjoyed lunch.   Eating is one of life's greatest pleasures and with a little balance one can stay slim  and still enjoy it.  

I wonder if G. knows that fidgeting burns calories?   That's one base he's got covered for sure.

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate