Monday, February 27, 2012

Hooray for Hollywood! Return of the Swan.

Ready or not, this is show biz and the show must go on and so the muse is back in business and showing the world he is fit for whatever comes his way!

He certainly looks well.  Let's hope the "happy dust" was not an issue in addition to the pain pills.

There is this fellow who has been doing happy dust since college.  Whenever he was in L.A. and before she moved to NY,  he always used to call D.  She knows all his secrets and doesn't let him get away with shit, so just before going into rehab (in Malibu) a few years ago, she spent the night holding his hand (funnily enough at The Sunset Towers).  He didn't stay in rehab for long...but he seemingly functions just fine.  He also has nine lives.  His father died when he was very young and he thinks he's destined for the same fate, so he lives it up and lives all over the globe.  He's even concocted parts of a past that never happened for public consumption and D laughs at how he gets away with it.  He's a real showman!

Life is funny...and sometimes sad.  D is cynical about her friend, but I always wish him well.

I am not saying this is G's problem.  I like to think he is more real and honest with himself.  But alas, he has to play the game and he does love the schmoozing... so "the little engine that could" keeps on chugging along and attended the Vanity Fair party last night.

If nothing else, he looks lovely and rested.

Stay sane, dear Muse!  Life goes by in the blink of an eye and one misses so much if one is in a stupor and always moving!   Going for the brass ring is all right, as long as the Merry Go Round isn't moving too fast!  You don't want to find yourself holding the ring but there is no longer any lovely music coming from the calliope...

One cannot dance through the storms if one can't hear the music!



Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

Photograph courtesy of GB Gals.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Flying Under the Radar for a while... good for the muse.   I think he has a lot on his mind these days and there is nothing like almost losing your life to make you sit up and take stock of it and ask yourself questions like "Am I happy?"  "What the hell am I doing with the rest of my life?"   "Is That All There Is?"

That last one is a particular favorite (I love the song) which speaks volumes about too much making one jaded.

Eyes speak volumes
I wrote the first two paragraphs early this afternoon without any knowledge of the story TMZ just broke a few minutes ago. * I think I already knew what was going on.  We know G's dealt with pain since 300 and I couldn't help thinking that the pounding one takes surfing was not the best thing for him to be doing. But in typical Gerry fashion, he pushes himself past what he should to prove to himself (and thereby to others) that he can do it.

I recognize the routine.

I have a few words for the Muse...

Be kind to yourself G.  You don't have to keep proving you are a tough guy all the time.  Being just who you are is enough.  Not everyone is going to love you...but that's okay too!   I know a lot of people function well using  "happy dust"..... but in the end it will get you and that would hurt a lot of people out there.  Really "big" men are kind and decent and like who they are.  Loving yourself means loving all of you...and you don't love your body by doing things that you know will harm it.  You speak of your soul often and you would think you would want to provide it with the best possible home so that it will continue to shine through those nice eyes of yours.

I'm glad you went somewhere serious like Betty Ford for help and didn't do the celebrity "Malibu" thing.

I am sending good thoughts and a sincere affection your way.

Be happy.  You are enough!



Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

*The following is what I wrote the night before his last Leno appearance, but didn't post.  I wrote the feeling "I" got from the photos. You all know which ones they are and I won't post them.  I didn't finish this and wrote about his Leno appearance instead.  It was "deja vu" seeing the TMZ post tonight.


...several new photos of the muse that have been posted on the internet.  I don't know if G was just terribly exhausted, at a low point, or just totally wacked out on something.  Perhaps it was a combination of all.

Catching some follow up pictures posted on the internet, I also think I know where he is at the moment, if not physically, at least psychically.  It's there for anyone with eyes to see and it's not a new demon, but an old one that haunts him.  

In the middle of all the adoration and the trips and the friends and the conquests and the clubs, I often see a very lonely man who only seems to feel the glow of being alive when he's performing.

People always wonder why he is always out at the clubs, even when he is on the edge of exhaustion.  He is looking for company because he is afraid of being alone with himself.  He has said he is sometimes very focused on himself and his own life.  What happens when he "is" alone with just himself?  Is that what he is thinking in this photo?

I know what it is like to feel alone in a crowd or in a gathering when you feel the conversation around you is banal and you almost feel like you are from another planet.   I also know what it's like to be with people you are in sync with and the conversation flows from topic to topic and you are engaged and feeling on top of the world.  I think he fluctuates from these extremes and, a little like the protagonist in Sofia Copola's "Somewhere, " he is feeling the weight and the bone deep loneliness of disassociation from his fellow humans and perhaps turned to another kind of oblivion.

I want to reach out and tell him he'll be all right and he'll get over and past it.  He already knows it, but feeling empty in the middle of so much worship seems so fucking sad and for the paparazzi to catch it... such nakedness and even sadder.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day to the Muse...

...and all his fans.

Hopefully he will have someone sweet and feisty to spend the day with.  While I prefer to exchange gifts and love on non-holidays (just for the principle of thing and because I think these things should flow freely from the heart, not just because someone has given it a special day), I do love to watch men scramble to pick up last minute little tokens of their affection in order to stay out of the doghouse with their significant others.  

Consolation Prize
While I understand that some men are organized and plan for these things in advance, I am always feeling just a little bit sorry for the helpless schlubs forlornly looking at the picked over flowers, some already looking wilted, and hoping it will be enough.   While some do it with great gusto, knowing their gifts will be met with affection and perhaps something extra special in the physical realm,  there are others looking so hang dogged in fear they will probably be sent off to the sofa without dinner if they don't pick up SOMETHING for the little lady at home.

If you are lucky enough to be attached to someone who thinks you are the hottest thing on the planet and treats you as such "every day" of the year and not just on Valentine's Day, then you are truly blessed and you have my heartiest congratulations.   If you get the same treatment on Valentine's Day as well, well there are no words....  You've hit the jackpot!

For everyone else, here is a consolation of my favorite, fairly current pictures of the Muse.

Happy Cupid's day all!

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Mavericks Please!

The title "Of Men and Mavericks" makes me think of Steinbeck and the "best laid plans of mice and men....  Of course the filmmakers may want to make the point that "surfer's love of the sport propose to conquer the large waves verses the waves at Mavericks (by their nature) dispose of all but the very talented," but the title still sounds a little too pompous....somehow.

I guess the finished product will tell.

I still call it Mavericks (after the dog from which the spot got its name).   I like the one word title. Sounds more classy to me.  No one will confuse it for anything else if they picture a couple of surfers in wetsuits on the poster. It's already got a built in tag line in "Live Like Jay!"

I'm sure the movie is in the editing process even though they are still filming surfing exteriors.  The only reason I can see more "principal" photography is if they find they need more coherence in a scene or to add something to improve the story.

I won't kid you that the fact the original director (Curtis Hanson) had to step down due to ill health worries me a little and makes me hope that he had enough passion (and energy) in him for the project up to the point of leaving. The fact that Hansen is also listed as producer on this project is a good thing because he has $$ at stake, not to mention his reputation.  While the Muse is listed as Executive Producer, from  his talk on Leno, it sounds like he's more involved in the production side than the title normally dictates.   I wonder?

The Muse needs some meaty acting follow up and some box office success after his good performances in Coriolanus and MGP.  Will Playing the Field and Mavericks give him that?   I hope so, but am a little dubious.   I would think Mavericks might have been the one to do it, especially with the chance the theme has of becoming another surfing "cult" movie (with lots of word of mouth and repeat business for years to come).  That one point had me feeling good about it.  Perhaps that will be the case, but that will depend on how good the script, acting and directing are...(the material is certainly there) and hopefully (additionally) it has enough good surfing footage to satisfy the most avid.

In the end, the audiences will tell, but I've got my fingers crossed.

For some reason, while I was typing this,  the lyrics from a favorite Antonio Carlos Jobim song,  Passarim,  come to mind.  It reads:  "Little bird on the tree you better fly.  If you stay on that tree you're gonna die..."  I guess it serves as advice to anyone whose life or career is feeling stale.

Is that what I'm subconsciously thinking about G's follow up choices or what?  If you believe the press, he is considered a successful actor.  But we all know how short lived that success can be in Hollywood.  There is always someone waiting around to pick up the slack and the parts you want.  Can he stay up there on sheer personality and fan adoration without more solid and successful movies?

I hope it all comes together for him with these two projects...but I worry a little.

Luve ye kid!  Perhaps I should spend more time worrying about whether I have any talent for writing or not because you seem to have 9 lives, after all.

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate