by zonistonate 2 days ago (Sun Jul 1 2007 04:22:47)
|Waiting for his morning latte.|
INT. 300 PREQUEL: DATING GORGO SET - EARLY MORNING
Gerry is sitting in make -up, half asleep and waiting for them to start working on transforming him into Leonidas, when Zack, who has been setting up the boards for the day, walks in.
Zack: Are you going to make it today? You look like you haven't slept in a week.
Gerry: (yawning) l'm waiting for my coffee.
Zack: Still burning the candle at both ends, eh?
Gerry: (grinning) Ye could say that.
Zack: It's a compulsion with you isn't it?
Gerry: I'm a compulsive guy.
Zack: Who was the chick?
Gerry: Which one?
Zack: (laughing) Do we need to install a revolving door on your trailer?
Gerry: I'm the 72 second man. Haven't ye heard?
Zack: And that would be 72 seconds for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Gerry: Come on, I'm not Superman! But ye fergot dessert. That's my favorite...lots of whipped cream with a cherry.
Zack: You're terrible. When do you have time to go over your lines?
Gerry: Right before breakfast, lunch and dinner and after dessert. Actually, I can usually skip breakfast. I'm more a "midnight" snack kinda guy. Room service is good at the hotel.
Zack: Does the front desk serve as traffic manager? I can picture it now: "Mr. Butler, your midnight snack is here!"
Gerry starts laughing.
Gerry: I only wish I could live up to my reputation.
Zack: Don't kid a kidder.
Gerry: Suit yourself. I'm pretty tame these days. After the long shoots I don't have the energy.
Zack: Nah, I'm thinking they expend all the energy.
Gerry starts laughing again.
Gerry: Hey I'm trying to quit smoking. I need a substitute.
Zack: And what was your excuse before you quit?
Gerry: I needed an incentive?
Zack shakes his head.
Zack: Well you'd better start getting some sleep because you look like hell this morning and Leonidas is not getting any so act like it.
Gerry: I always do.
INT. 300 PREQUEL: DATING GORGO SET - LATE MORNING
Gorgo: You want us to sleep in a bird shaped bed?
Leonidas: (eagerly) It could be an eagle. Nothing sissy. Ah just thought twas kinda cozy an interestin'....
Gorgo: And you want to wear a mask? Where do you come up with this stuff?
Leonidas: Ah have a wild imagination?
Gorgo: Well, I must say this is quite surprising. But please go on. I need to know these things. What else turns you on?
Leonidas: (blushing) A little Hanky Panky? Nothing like a good spanky.
Gerry: Fu ckin' Madonna again. And here I thought she and Frank would never get along. Goes to show how much I know.
Zack: CUT! Come on Ger. Just read your lines. I thought you said you went over them.
Gerry: I lied. If I'd seen this one, no way would I have shown up today.
Zack: Now you're a primadonna?
Gerry: Now I don't want to be the butt of everyone's joke. The line is out or I am. Take your pick!
Zack: (tugging on his cap) Okay, okay. We'll skip over that bit.
Gerry: Thank you. It's nothing against Madonna. This stuff just doesn't fit. Okay?
Zack: Fine. Take it from the fourth line down. Well you know how fond I am .......
Leonidas: Well ye know how fond I am of Baklava?
Gorgo: (shaking her head) Yes.
Leonidas: With lots o' whipped cream?
Leonidas: Well, ehmmmm, what I mean .....er, well Thespacia would er......
Gorgo: Thespacia what? Get it out for Zues sake!
Leonidas: (closing his eyes) ......she let me nibble on it ......er.....(his voice getting lower and trailing off) She was..... the plate...
Gorgo: The plate? She was the plate. She was the plate?
The light goes on in her eyes and she tries to maintain her calm.
Gorgo: And you like that Leonidas?
Leonidas: Well, ye know how much I like Baklava.
Gorgo: Yes, we've ascertained that already.
Leonidas: Well, ye see.....with ye as the plate and the cream......
Gorgo: I get the picture Leonidas. I'll think about that one.
Leonidas: Only problem is the ants....... They like the Baklava almost as much as ah do.....and it's no fun to wake up to that picture.
Gorgo: Yes, I can see that would be a problem.
(giving it some thought) I suppose we could let you be the plate some of the time. (getting into it) Except I like French Apple Tart with Creme Fraiche or some Floating Island with Creme Anglais. Come to think of it with all that creme, perhaps we can get creative........ Okay.... I'll buy that one!
Leonidas: (hugging her) Ye see, that's why ah love ye sweet Gorgo. Ah knew ye would understand this stuff.
Gorgo: Is there any more?
Leonidas: Well, ahem yes......there is this one thing I like...
Gorgo: Don't pussyfoot around, Leonidas. Hit me with it!
Leonidas: Ah would never hit ye Gorgo. (insulted) What kinda Spartan do ye think I am?
Gorgo: It was a figure of speech. I didn't mean it literally!
Leonidas: Oh. Well in that case.........there is this skirt ah like ta wear sometimes. Ah dinna wear it in public because ma Spartans would laugh at me and that's no' seemly, but it's a lot more refreshin' than ma codpiece and not quite as confinin'. They call it a "kilter" only I like ta call it a killer, cause it sounds more Spartan. I call it ma "killer skirt." Only it doesn't really kill anyone......but it seems ta slay the ladies...if ya know what ah mean.
Gorgo: You want to wear a skirt? ...... Leonidas. Should I be worried here?
Leonidas: No, no sweet Gorgo. Nothin' like that! It's just that it's so comfy and convenient. Ah mean, ye of all people should know the benefits of a skirt.
Gorgo: And you would only wear it for me?
Leonidas: Of course. Only around the house. It goes real well with ma cape too!
Gorgo: I suppose I could live with that, though I think it's a crime to hide those wonderful thighs of yours.
Leonidas: (grinning) Well it wouldna be too hard to find them wi the skirt!
Gorgo: (blushing) I hadn't thought of that.
Leonidas: See, I knew we could get this right. Now there is this other thing............
Disclaimer: This story only takes place in the fervid imagination of the "would be" writer.
*Getting it right is important in the scheme of things.
Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate