CALCUTTA-BENGALI TIMES: ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
Holy Water for the Soul?
Ahhhh but the Indian lassies (not to be confused with lassis) will miss Scottish actor Gerard Butler now that he has finally departed our fair shores. You could almost hear the sounds of a few hearts breaking when we learned his departure was imminent.
I, for one, shall miss the tumultuous excitement that seems to follow him everywhere he goes these days and there are several people we know who will miss his company, hopefully even the one he would wish to "fuse and merge" with.
From reading a blog by one of our talented writers, it leaves us wondering exactly which lady really caught the fancy of the Scottish hunk. While the money is on lovely Bollywood beauty, Priyanka Chopra, those who read with different eyes wonder if his taste has shifted to the more cerebral qualities of someone equally well known to us.
The effusive Mr. Butler has the kind of temperament that unnerves the more propriety-conscious souls among us and, from all indications, the lovely Nandita Das even resorted to singing a bit of a famous Indian love song to one of her friends in an attempt to not be left alone with the ailing, but handsome as ever, actor who came aboard a certain yacht to say a final goodbye to attachments he has made while visiting India and her holy sites.
We can only hope that he had the foresight to avail himself of some anti-virals, anti-parasitics and antibiotics prior to drinking the holy waters of the Ganges during his pilgrimage. This is a case where practicality and spirituality are hand maidens of that part of us that knows we must live another day to continue the search for inner peace by spending time with the people and places that fill us up, and to sate our thirst for the knowledge that will help us expand our minds and unify our dual natures. It is also common knowledge that oneness helps to quiet the ants in one's pants so that we can sit still and focus on the important tasks at hand, such as remembering your lines and mastering other accents besides your own.
Mr. Butler was overheard telling Ms. Das that the latter was one of the reasons he came to India, "in addition to the added lure of the scenery, of course." Ms. Das said she was not sure whether he was speaking of scenery in the pastoral sense, or of the Bollywood beauties he is said to admire.
During his visit with Nandita, we are told he also gave Hritik Roshan's wife Suzzanne, who was also aboard the yacht, advice on how to kill the "ants" that had been plaguing her, only to laugh it off with a big OH...when told that these particular "white ants" were in reference to the unsavory rumors that Hritik was romantically involved with his recent Kites co-star, actress Barbara Mori.
Yes, we shall miss Gerry and his lively, effervescent presence.....and , when he fully recovers from what ails him, we hope he will look back on us fondly. As we know, "nothing ever ends"...but hopefully, in Butler's case, that will only apply to the memories and friendships he has made in India, which we hope he will carry in his heart, and not to any little critters who may have set up domicile in the more vulnerable regions of his G.I. tract.
Alavidha and caio Gerry!
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction that exists only in the twilight zone of the writer's mind. Any and all resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.
Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate