CALCUTTA-BENGALI TIMES: ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
May 1st, 2009
As promised, the first snippets of Priyanka Chopra's party for her friend, Scottish actor Gerard Butler, are starting to spill out.
First of all, as was reported by another Bengali news source, the police were summoned to quiet down Ms. Piggy Chops revelers when they got a little too noisy for some of her neighbors. This has happened once before and the actress was overheard saying to one of her guests that "she had sent said neighbors a note telling them she was having a party and asking them to please turn down their hearing aids for the evening."
Today her spokesperson issued an apology to all hearing impaired persons and said the actress was making a little joke at the expense of her older neighbors, who had perfect hearing but were jealous they were not invited to her parties.
One of our spies, who attended the party with an invited guest, tells us that Ms. Piggy's guest of honor seemed to be having a great time and, in addition to providing the guests with a Karaoke rendition of "Light My Fire," the Scottish hottie danced with almost all of the Bollywood A list actresses present and even a few of their chaperons too. It seems Mr. Butler was able to win even that stern contingent over, as they were overheard giggling and comparing notes later in the evening. The consensus seemed to indicate his charm (along with the promise of an autographed photo of him in full 300 garb) had garnered him the CSA (Chaperon Seal of Approval).
The most interesting conversation of the evening though, seems to have been the one Butler was enjoying with actor Shahid Kapoor, Priyankas rumored boyfriend, as they retired to a corner of the room. Making herself invisible, our source was able to eavesdrop a little and tells us that the conversation ran into the realm of spirituality and vegetarianism, with Shahid, a well known vegetarian and teatotaller and Butler, a non drinker and former alcoholic, weighing in on the pros and cons of each. Discreetly flipping the switch of her hidden mini recorder and despite the noise, she was able to tell us the conversation, while not verbatim, went something like this:
Kapoor: " Really, Gerry, you should try to become a vegetarian. After a while you will find your mind clearing up all the debris that animal fat produces in your arteries and that will aid you greatly on your spiritual quest to achieve clarity of thought and the immediate responsive oneness of body. "
Butler: "Believe me, I've tried Shahid, but after awhile ah gotta have a regular meal. I think ah'm a pretty strong pairson, givin' up alcohol an' even after a million times, finally smoking... because I know it will eventually kill me, but that doesn't stop me from wantin' to light up every time ah get a whiff of it. It's like eating fish. I know it's good fer me in the long run and ah like it a lot, but even a steady diet o' fish gets old an' ma body stairts hankering for a big hunk o' beef. Don't ye ever feel that way?"
Kapoor: "I hear you Gerry, but trust me, that big hunk of beef will get you into trouble if you're not careful."
Butler: "Speaking of fish, have ye been able to convince Priya to go the vegetarian route? I've seen the girl wolf down a steak in five minutes flat. She's gat some healthy appetite fer a lass."
Kapoor: "Now see here Gerry, are we speaking about food here or something else?"
My source tells me the conversation continued for a while longer but at this junction, noticing her presence, she was forced to move on and was unable to tape Butler's reply.
That reply would have been interesting in the extreme but unfortunately lost to us unless we hear from other sources.
Today the excitement is building up for the big party being thrown by wealthy actor and businessman, Shah Ruka Kahn. Though more intimate and harder to access by the exclusivity of the guest list, we have hopes of being able to report on that as well and perhaps some more tasty tidbits from Ms. Piggy Chops party as well.
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction that exists only in the twilight zone of the writer's mind. Any and all resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.
Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate