Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Women on Women

Yeah, I know the title sounds like a porno lesbian thing... but with all the gossip swirling about the Muse and his brief tumble in the hay with a reality TV star and the resulting comments on several websites, I find myself having to comment on something that should be obvious to the most astute observer. We are talking about two single, consenting adults spending time with each other or sucking face or more...or whatever it was they did or didn't do....and one of them blabbing about it... and not someone committing homicide or worse.

I saw the infamous clip of the show and to me it sounded like a woman trying to curry favor with someone she might have dissed before (to her friends at least...if the gossip is to believed about the "circumference" and "curvature" of someone's anatomy) by rating their time together "off the charts!"    It was either a public "I'm sorry ...and I hope this helps" kind of thing, or "Sorry, but I'm trying to get your attention again and getting a little publicity along the way" kind of thing.  Either's not really important in the scheme of things.  At least not to him.

This GB and BG thing is very simple... Man meets woman at party with minimum clothing and flowing liquor.  One comes on to the other...and nature takes over and they end up in the sack together.  True or false, it sounds probable, knowing the horny reputation of one  party.  The length of time they spent together may or may not be accurate, but that's show biz!

What really gets me riled up is not that it happened or didn't happen, nor what it means to either party, because I honestly don't think it means much in a world where  "reality TV" is the entertainment of the day for many, but it has to do with the little I was able to stomach reading from the people commenting on it.

You know what I sometimes detest about my gender?  How much we like to blame "piggish" men for our ills and yet how much power we hand over to them by  "allowing " them to define us.   And then to make matters worse,  we turn around and emulate them in the way we speak about women!  How utterly stupid is that?

Ever hear how "some" men sit around and talk about women?  Locker room talk, I mean?   Want some examples?   No?   Well reading some of the comments women have made about this "desperate housewife" (yes, housewife has become a demeaning word in some quarters and that's why the second word in all the titles of these shows are "housewife"), one hardly needs a male around to  denigrate her or us as females.  We do a dandy, fine job of it ourselves, don't we?

Why are we women so hard on others of our gender?   Is it that there are so few males to go around that we have to make ourselves look and sound better at someone else's expense?  Do we think so little of ourselves that we have an inbred need to do it?   Are we just living out our programming as the more deadly of the species, despite the fact that men go to physical war with each other and kill each other that way?  Do we mostly outlive men because our genetic make up is more complicated, or do we just end up either nagging them or boring them to death after we've either succeeded or not in changing them into the perfect model we always dreamed of but didn't get (mostly because the perfect one doesn't exist) or because we let some man mold us into something we're not and we secretly hate him for it?

There are so many questions and never enough answers.  Historically women haven't faired well because we were once considered merely chattel or breeding material for men.  The lucky ones who were able to enthrall a man, were loved and treasured, but still only given the rights her husband would accord her.  This is still true in a lot of societies around the world and in some of these societies, women are struggling to get the barest of rights accorded them.  We, in the free world, are so lucky...and yet....

Let me get to the crux of what is sitting in my craw.  Is it or is it not true that we are born, we age, and we die?   All of us.  Not one of us escapes this....neither gender.   We are babies, preteens, teens, twenty-somethings (for a fleeting 9 years), thirty-somethings (for another fleeting 9 years) and so on....   I think you are getting the picture of where this is going now?  We are some of us bright, some of us "not so bright" and some of us "downright stupid!"   I am talking "mentally handicapped" people aside.   Our genetic make up we get from our parents and our ancestors, but however we are blessed or not, with brains and not looks, with brains and looks, with looks and little brains, etc... we all have choices with what we do with our blessings or a lack of them.   WE DO HAVE CHOICES to be better than our raw materials.

What gets me fighting mad is the choices some people make.  One of those choices I see so many women making is letting "men" define them...from cradle to define them and they go along with it and adopt it as a mantel they wear with pride.   They don't even realize they are doing it, but they do.  Ever watch a woman in a shoe store try to stuff her tender feet into a too tight, too high a heel, stylish shoe by the latest and greatest (male ) designer to be fashionable?   That's just one innocuous little example, but when these girls hit their old age, it's not funny when their feet are destroyed and ugly from trying to fit into a "sadist" version of what is beautiful.

Ever see how many people suffer from low self esteem in our society?  Men suffer from it, but not to the extent women do (or perhaps women are more verbal about it)...even very beautiful women (after all something MUST be wrong with them).   And that "low self esteem" makes us even harder on our own gender.  You can take that to the bank.   And hard we are.

Now there is something called "self reliance" and being responsible for ourselves by not letting ourselves be victims.  We can choose the way we see ourselves!   But the victimized sometimes love to prey on others in order to feel better.  And those that like to prey have a nifty little tool called the internet ...that allows them to victimize anonymously....and how we love to do it....hide behind computers and smugly trash others for every little misstep, whether they deserve it or not.   Now to the point...

I don't know this Hollywood Housewife.  I don't watch  reality TV shows.  It's a choice I make.   It may be fine for some...but it's not my thing.  I think most of these things are scripted and the only thing real about it is the courseness of some of the players.    All well and good if you like this kind of thing.  All I know about BG, as I'll call her, is that she supposedly was "kissing" the muse at a party in Malibu and from that...that she is the ex of someone I knew little about until he started going out with a country western star, who I also know little about, except for her name and only because my little niece likes country western music (which I don't).

After reading all the uproar over this whole silly affair and its resurrection by said BG about GB and their time together, I can't get over the stupid remarks being made by women regarding this person.   Not just about what she does, or who she is, but how she looks.  Their comments come straight out of the "men's locker room" some of them.  She is being called an old hag.  How can anyone be an old hag at 38 or 39?   Are these twenty something women saying this?   They are going to be 39 sooner then they think and will it be okay for others to call them "old hags" because of it?  How stupid and brainless an action is that?   Are they planning on dying young so they don't have to be that "dreaded" 39?  Do they hear the same kind of "shit" from their mothers?  God forbid!

I don't know or care how much help BG has had to keep up her appearance, but she doesn't look like any kind of a hag from her  photos.  Now I can't see her brain from her photographs, but perhaps if I were to make a study I might find she didn't have a big one or that she might but comes from a line of ninnies with no common sense.   Even smart people are sometimes afflicted with a "lack of common sense" gene in their make up.

The thing is that we use derogatory terms that are normally used by men against women to denigrate those of our own gender and every time WE do it, we are making it worse for ourselves and our daughters...   EVERY TIME we make a young woman feel that "her looks" or now even the way her "sexual organs look" can never be perfect enough or that those looks are the only thing that matter to the OTHER GENDER, we make her small and insignificant....(never mind that we make that OTHER gender pretty small too)!   We tell her that THAT is the only thing that counts and that her "brains" or her "good heart"  or her "sweet disposition" or her "beautiful eyes" or her "sense of humor" or  her "empathy for others" don't matter.  She is only going to be measured by her beauty AND as soon as she turns 30 or she has a baby...well baby... she's finished in that department!  Is it any wonder we live in a youth obsessed culture where looks are more important than wisdom and our young women lack self esteem because they can't live up to an impossible ideal of what is beautiful?   And that EVERY time we indulge in this kind of cattiness using some men's words against another foolish, silly woman, that we reinforce this unrealistic expectation and teach these young women that in order to get a pat on the head or a chance with a male we might fancy is by being "pretty" above all things.

I suspect a lot of the people who indulge in this kind of internet assassination by words, are even older then BG and mothers to boot.  Do they feel better about themselves by attacking her in this manner?    I don't know, but it's clear to me that most of them who do it are lacking in self esteem themselves.  Ever notice how much envy there is in this world?

Oh well.  I can swallow a little better now, having spit out my opinion.

As for BG, I don't personally know her.  That she's on this kind of show and talks about things better kept personal only tells me she's a bit of a twit and maybe an ambitious twit!

As for GB, my guess is that he is probably a little annoyed someone is bringing up a past he's already filed away under "do not disturb"  and perhaps a bit of a twit himself if he doesn't realize she was just trying to minimize the damage from her previous comment to friends, if those are even true.   Whatever he thinks about the matter,  the gossip blogs will have fun re-wording the less then five minute clip fifty different ways...even to make other men think that King Leonidas is an 11 in the sack, despite a crooked penis! After all, for all those "crooked penis" guys out there.."it's what you do with the thing" not how straight it is, right?  A win situation for them, at least!

I'm grinning right now, but I guess that's the only thing left to do after reading over this post!

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

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