GB's Christmas Letter to St. Nick and comments

GB LETTER TO ST. NICK   by zonistonate   (Tue Dec 25 2007 02:06:01) UPDATED Fri Jan 4 2008 02:48:21 Letter to St. Nick 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the steid, no' a creature was stirring, no' aiven the dead. Fer 'twas bonnie old Scotland an' cold as she be an' thare sat our own downcast GB under mum's tree. "Ah've been good, ah've been bad, ah've been all o'er the place, an' aiven some o' ma friends think ah've been a disgrace. Ah'm still pushin' that old loadstone up ma own hill and ah'm trying so hard tae improve ma sittin' still skills. So ah'm writin' ye Santa, St. Nick or whatever... aiven though sometimes some think ah've the gift to be clever, some people just na'er seem willin' tae give me a break and ah wish some would realize that this is MA cake. An' ah'd like just tae eat it an' enjoy it too, without havin' tae explain every damned thing that ah do, fer it's startin tae make me quite cranky ah'd say tae wake up and see who ah'm fuckin' or no' fuckin' each day. If ma life had so many a winsome, sweet wench, ah'd be much more relaxed and ma jaws ah'd no' clench. But in truith, ah'm no' quite the big smooth operator an' tis much more likely a lass saying...'Good nicht, see ye later!' What ah'm askin' fer Nick, tis no' so hard tae grant... Just some kindness, some love an', okay, special pants that will fit through the thighs an' will fit in the arse an' will squeeze ma wee boy when ma mouth gets too crass. Fer ye know ah have problems wi' keepin it shut, when ma publicist says ah should be quiet as King Tut. Tis a case o' exuberance gone run amok an' ah seem tae be havin' the same problem wi' ma co_ck! Sae dear Nick ah wud ask fer some skills that ah'm cravin'. The power tae be good an' tae stop misbehavin'. Though deep doon in ma hairt ah just really got tae tell ye, that ah'm no' goin' fer sainthood, no' NOW an' no' EVER! An' ah've just one more thing oan ma list left tae ask ye. Wud ye bring me a bag full o' fairy dust sparklies ah kin sprinkle all o'er me when ah'm tired an' ah'm scruffy sae ah kin leuk like the old me, even when ah leuk puffy. Kis ah'm tired as hell readin how fast ah am aging, every time ah tarn aroun' an' it sets ma pulse a raging. So along wi 'the dust ah would ask ye to be so kind to deliver all o' ma lovin fans a swift kick on their behinds." Yers truly, GB P.S. "An' no camel sh_it please, as ah've really no' been THAT bad!"

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by paisleygirl   (Tue Dec 25 2007 07:13:30) Sweet Mother of God, Santa, it is not too much to ask. Just grant the boy these requests , and throw in a diuretic. Love, Paisley

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by desertsunspot   (Tue Dec 25 2007 06:07:09) Zoni, this is pure genius. I laughed so hard I had to catch my breath. You have captured the essence of Gerry perfectly. You're my favorite person on IMDb, for your common sense and creativity. No matter what the subject, I can always count on you to say exactly what I am thinking, only much more eloquently than I ever could.

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by filmmom1   (Tue Dec 25 2007 10:43:25) Oh my! Zoni, you do know how to say everything I'm thinking, and with such cleverness to boot! Thanks for the chuckle and, please, keep it up! Happy Holidays :) Marilyn

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by Lucin-dada   (Tue Dec 25 2007 11:06:22) Two thumbs up, Zoni! Lucinda

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by colorpro   (Tue Dec 25 2007 12:21:41) Aw, Zoni, what a nice Christmas present. I knew it would be worth peeking in here today. Hope Santa gets the 'letter' and grants a few of those wishes. (I could use some of those sparklies myself...) All is calm, all is bright

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by mobiusedge   (Tue Dec 25 2007 13:20:27) some love an', okay, special pants that will fit through the thighs an' will fit in the arse ROFLMAO!!!! Zoni, you frocking ROCK!!!

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by paisleygirl   (Wed Dec 26 2007 01:08:46) Zoni you did us all a nice turn with this creation. I just saw PSILY and am not sleepy in the least. I will see it again as there was a lot in it to contemplate. Gerry was lovely and the cast was excellent. Lots of familiar human experience, people being self absorbed and insensitive as people can be, and absent from the opportunities of life as they roll by. I loved it. Kathy Bates was beautiful; I thought the ending was great. Have a great Boxing Day,eh. Paisley.

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by mrs_stranger   (Wed Dec 26 2007 08:02:37) zoni, you are too good!!!!!!!!!!

Re: GB LETTER TO ST. NICK

by saul_rothman   (Tue Dec 25 2007 07:57:34) What ah'm askin' fer Nick, tis no' so hard tae grant Just some kindness, some love an', okay, special pants that will fit through the thighs an' will fit in the arse an' will squeeze ma wee boy when ma mouth gits too crass. My fave! Oh, yeah, I'd like to meet the wench who said, "Good night, see ya later," and shake her hand. Saulisa