Leonidas steps back but keeps his ear close as she continues in her water induced trance.
Oracle: Tha aannk yoooou. As toooo yooourr quessss tttion, I doooo seeee Goooorrr gooooo aaaaas theee fffuuu tuurrrre Queeeeeen ooooof Spaaaaaarrrrta.
Leonidas: (rubbing his ear) Is there an echo in here?
Oracle: Nooooooo. Itttttt iiiiiiiiss a giiiiii miiii ck toooo maaaa ke meeeee aaaapeeer mooorrre mysssss ti caaallll. The Ephooors sennnnnt meeeeee toooooo Eccccho schooooool.
Leonidas: Oh. Well it sounds like Greek ta me. But ah'm lucky I can understand Greek, cause a lot of people can't.
Oracle: Moooo rrroooon!
Leonidas: (pridefully) Well ye don't have to get nasty about it.
Oracle: Anndd yoooou arrrre suposssssed to beeee the nexxxt Kiiiiing?
Leonidas: Yeah, well we already know that! Duh! Can we cut the echo and speak Greek?
Oracle: (sitting up) Okay. Just don't mention it to the Ephors when they get back, will you?
Leonidas: Deal. I stay away from them as much as ah can. They are some ugly mothers. (shudders) Give me nightmares.
Oracle: How'd you like to have to live with them?
Leonidas: Ye have ma deepest sympathy.
Oracle: (nodding acknowledgement)
One more thing future King Leonidas. If ye are ta keep yer Queen.......SHIT!
Leonidas: If ah'm to keep ma queen shi t? What is that supposed ta mean?
Oracle: It means I've been listening to you too long and I'm starting to sound like you.
Leonidas: Well, ma charm does tend to rub off on some, or so ah'm told.
Oracle: I guess I should be thankful you're not shouting. Your reputation has preceded you.
Leonidas: (puzzled) Why does everyone think I shout? (gathering his dignity about him) Ah don't!
Oracle: Perhaps you need a hearing test? People who have trouble with their hearing tend to shout all the time. Especially if they love the sound of their voice.
Leonidas: Ye must be thinkin' of Dilios. Now there is a boy who can talk until the cows come home and when he starts to tell the dark bedtime stories of the North forget it! I keep hearin' this Musical Angel song he's fond of singing in ma dreams too. Ah even havta put a pillow over ma head sometimes to drown it out. And about the shouting thing. Ye should try to speak over 300 Spartans talking at once. Ye see it's ma theory that they will respect me more if ah'm the biggest, baddesst and loudest of them all....... Now there is another school of thought that is powerfully convincing and that is......... Emmm... ah fergot what ah was going ta say....
Oracle: That doesn't surprise me. You do like to ramble don't you? As I was saying, if you are to keep your Queen happy you must tell her about yourself. She must know you and what makes you happy so that you will not be tempted to.... pardon my French, "fuc k" around! I highly recommend it.
Leonidas: It's a French word? And here ah thought it was Scottish, er... Greek.
Oracle: (exasperated) Greek... French... take yer prick! I mean your pick. Oh shit I don't know what I mean anymore. TELL HER WHAT TURNS YOU ON!
Leonidas: (surprised) Ye mean talk ta her about sex?
Oracle: Well if you can DO it, you can certainly talk about it!
Leonidas: Er, I don't have problems doin' it, but I just can't seem ta bring maself to talk about it. Gorgo says ah'm modest.
Oracle: (rolling her eyes) Well then I don't see a future for you and your future Queen. Capiche?
Leonidas: I guess so. Thank ye for yer wise words "green pin" girl. Ye're a pretty cool chick once ye get past that echo crap! Sorry about ruinin' yer dress.
Leonidas departs the Oracle's presence with a heavy heart. He knows he must do all he can to make Gorgo his Queen but it will mean getting over his natural reticence to speak of sexual matters aloud.
Zack: CUT! Good take. That's a print!
Gerry: This dialogue is starting ta sound awfully familiar. Leonidas sounds like a pin head in these last few scenes . What was going through Frank's mind?
Zack: (proudly) Actually I helped rewrite that one. It was pretty far out to begin with. I wanted to modernize it a bit. Leonidas learns a lot in the intervening years between this and 300. He is still "a work in progress" and Gorgo becomes a stabalizing influence in his life. You see....
 |
| Leonidas sounds like a pinhead... |
Gerry: Yeah, whatever! I'm going to my trailer to take a nap. Have someone wake me up when you're ready for my next scene.
Zack: We're filming the Gorgo girl talk one now, so you have at least an hour.
Gerry gives a thumbs up as he yawns again and heads for his trailer and his bed.
As he approaches his trailer there is a pretty, dark haired girl waiting outside his door.
Gerry: You look familiar. Do I know you?
Girl: It's me. From Hyde. You know, the "green lighter chick."
A light goes on in Gerry's head.
Gerry: I thought you looked familiar. Didn't recognize you without your friends.
Girl: You said to look you up if I ever figured out who you were. I finally caught a few of your movies.
Gerry: And?
Girl: And I think I'm ready to get to know you better now.
Gerry: (smiling) Did you bring my green lighter back?
Girl: Yes.
She hands it to him.
Gerry: Come on in . We'll use it to light some incense before we meditate.
He smiles devilishly as he opens the door and follows her in.
Disclaimer: This story takes place only in the mind of the writer and is totally fictitious.
*Making up is hard to do (sounds like a song title) so it will take three nights to get it right.
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