by zonistonate 1 day ago (Fri Aug 3 2007 01:35:15)
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| "It said a nude scene.... but this..... |
Caution: This chapter is rated R+
300 PREQUEL: DATING GORGO SET - NEXT MORNING
Gerry is in wardrobe getting ready for the last scene and Zack comes looking for him.
Zack: Well Ger, you psyched up for this scene yet?
Gerry: If I understood why we're doin' it, twood be easier.
Zack: We've been over it a before. I want this to be sinfully sexy.
Gerry: Now ye're sounding like Joel.
Zack: You read the script and agreed to it.
Gerry: Yeah, but it keeps changin'. It said a nude scene.....but this.....
Zack: We're gonna do whatever we can get away with. You know I like to push the envelope.
Gerry: Pushin' the envelope is fine. Showin' ma dokey sooks.
Zack: In American, please?
Gerry: Look it up! Rhymes with "stick."
Zack: We're not showing it. We're showing its shadow.
Gerry: Same difference.
Zack: Technically, it's not.
Gerry: Whatever.
Zack: We're just pushing it a bit further than the ass shot.
Gerry: Why not guild it in flowers an' just shoot the thing.
Zack: (grinning) Wow! Now that's an idea.
Gerry: (sourly) Sorry ah mentioned it.
Zack: Come on. Be a sport. We've got a closed set for this. Loosen up.
Gerry: I'm loose. I'm loose. I just don't wanna be loose when I need ta be hard.
Zack: (grinning) Then we'll send in the fluffer.
Gerry: Ye an' yer fluffer. No thanks!
Zack: I don't understand. You weren't this worried about taking off your clothes for 300.
Gerry: I was willin' ta do a lotta things fer 300 I don't havta do now! I'm not so hungry.
Zack: You've gotta trust me. It'll be fine.
Gerry: I trust ye. I just don't trust maself. I'm not as young as I used ta be.
Zack: You're going to be fine. I wouldn't ask you to do it if I didn't think you could. You're the man!
Gerry: I'll keep tellin' ma wee boy that. Let's hope he's listenin'.
Zack: Your wee boy's had plenty of practice. I'm sure he knows the drill by rote.
Gerry: Rote? Sure. Rote.
Looks down at his lap.
Gerry: Ye hear that? It's rote you'll be needin'.
Zack: Calm down. I'm going to check with Lena. See you in a few.
Gerry: If I'm not here when ye get back, start without me.
Zack: Stay put.
Gerry: (crossly) Yeah, yeah!
300 PREQUEL: DATING GORGO CLOSED SET - LATER
Gorgo and Leonidas have just retired from their wedding feast and Gorgo is changing her clothes in the bath chamber. Leonidas is rummaging through his drawers for his killer skirt and his brand new ring, which, after downing a few glasses of Ouzo, he's promised to show Captain. He's tipsy and listing a little. He slips out to the courtyard where Captain awaits him.
Leonidas: Come over here ta the torch, or ye won't be able ta read the engravin'.
Curious, the equally tipsy Captain holds out his hand and Leonidas places the large ring in his palm. The captain squints.
Captain: I can't see a thing. Explain to me how this works.
Leonidas: (shyly) Ye put it on yer member an' it looks real purty. Kinda like a wreath.
Captain: If you say so.
Leonidas takes it from him.
Leonidas. An' the engravin' is so Gorgo.
Captain: What does it say?
Leonidas: (shyly) Well, tis kinda personal.
Captain: And showing it to me isn't?
Leonidas: Okay, but ya gotta promise never ta tell a soul.
Captain: You're the blabbermouth, not me.
Leonidas: (indignant) Ah'm not a blabbermouth. Ah just get carried away sometimes.
Captain: Right. (imitating Leonidas) Ah fergot!
Leonidas: Well if ye're goin' ta get nasty, I'll take ma ring an' go home.
Captain: You are home. It's me that has to go home. Tell me what it says first, or I'll tell my wife you showed me the ring and then she'll tell Gorgo.
Leonidas narrows his eyes.
Leonidas: Sounds ta me like a bit o blackmail. If we werna' friends, you'd be missin' a limb right about now.
Captain: (cajoling) Come on....tell me. I'll keep my mouth shut. I promise.
Leonidas: (relenting) Okay.
He looks at the inscription and proudly reads it to Captain.
Leonidas: "Fer ma favorite popsicle wi love. Gorgo"
Captain looks at him blankly.
Captain: Popsicle? What in Hades is that?
Leonidas: A Carpathian dessert.
Captain: Oh. (the light going on, eyes opening wide )Oh!
A grin crosses Captain's face.
Noticing, Leonidas suddenly gets cross.
Leonidas: Okay. Enough! Ah gotta go put on ma killer skirt before Gorgo comes out. She's no' seen it an ah've been savin' it fer tonight, special.
Captain: I guess I'll go home and see if my wife is still mad at me for dancing with Romeria. Maybe if she's jealous enough, I'll get some tonight.
Leonidas: Wi the fire comin' off her eyes, ye may get somethin' ye dinna want, ma friend. Ye best be careful walkin' in the door. That's one lady packs a bigger punch then Nammy.
Captain shrugs.
Captain: Yes, but she's always very repentant afterwards and wants to make up.
Leonidas: Well then, what are ye standin' around here fer?
After sending Captain on his way, Leonidas returns to the bedchamber. Turning his back to the camera with his cape still on, he removes his codpiece and slips on his "killer skirt." He carefully slips on his present from Gorgo, noting the snug fit. He turns to the mirror, unfastens his cape and lays it across the chair. Feeling a bit naked without his cape, he reaches in a drawer and pulls out several bracelets, which he slips on his right wrist. Finally satisfied with his reflection in the mirror, he slips off his sandals and decides to go barefoot. Reaching for a bottle of orange flower water on the table, he rubs some on his chest and other strategic areas. Looking in the mirror one more time, he removes one of the bracelets and puts it back in the drawer.
Leonidas: (talking to his reflection) "Yer married now, but ye dinna look any different ta me...cept fer the killer skirt. Ah've always wondered what the lads mean when they say ye get yer wings clipped. Ah got nothin' clipped, no' even ma braid an' ah'm staying that way! Ah'm the mighty Leonidas, protector o Sparta!"
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| Another shadow, another wall, a nice bum! |
That is the picture Gorgo sees when she comes out of the bath chamber. She covers her mouth with her finger tips to keep from laughing. A loving smile spreads across her face as she watches this interesting specimen of a man she's married, so typical of his sex, yet in so many ways less than ordinary. His outward appearance is every bit the warrior, yet it is the softness in him that is able to hold her heart so tenderly in his big masculine hands.
Leonidas turns to see her and smiles at her.
Gorgo: So that's the infamous "killer skirt?"
Leonidas: Whattaya think o it?
Gorgo: (imitating him) Tarn around fer me?
Slowly Leonidas turns around.
Gorgo: I think I like it. Draws attention to your fine calves.
Leonidas: It's very comfy too. No chaffin either. Carpathian's *know a thing er two aboot a thing er two, but tis ma Spartan side ah'm most proud o'. Ah like bein' a hardass, although ah must admit it took a lot o' work ta get it so hard. Ye should try liftin' tractor tires.
Gorgo: Leonidas, I've no idea what your talking about.
Leonidas: (puzzled) Me neither. Ah dinna know where these things come from. Just fall outta ma mouth. Ah must be psychic.
Gorgo: I think you've been drinking too much Ouzo. Either that, or the Oracle is having much too much influence on you.
Leonidas: Ye mean the "green pin" girl?
Gorgo: Whatever.
Leonidas: Now Gorgo, ma sweet, ye're no' getting jealous o' a silly girl are ye?
Gorgo: No dear. She says you ruined her favorite dress.
Leonidas: What?
Gorgo: But she thinks you're charming anyway. Your charm seems to be your blessing and maybe your Achilles heel too!.
Leonidas: Ah am charmin'. What's Achilles got ta do with ma dropfoot?
Gorgo: Is that still bothering you?
Leonidas: Only when ah, well.... er.. this seems kinda strange but it has a mind o' it's own........when ah shoot ma arrow.
Gorgo: What would your foot have to do with shooting an arrow? I'm not getting it.
Leonidas: Ma other arrow, if ye get ma drift?
Gorgo: What?
Leonidas: Well, ye see....er....when ahm getting set ta shoot ma arrow, ma foot cramps up an then flops. Kinda almost at the same time. Tis like ma arrow an' ma foot are connected.
Gorgo: That's taking the connection thing a bit far don't you think?
She shakes her head.
Leonidas shrugs his shoulders.
Leonidas: Tis the truth. Ah would'na lie about a thing like that.
Gorgo: You are a strange man Leonidas. But never boring, I'll grant you that.
Leonidas: Well ah'm glad ta hear that, since bein' borin' is somethin' ah don't want people sayin' about me.
Gorgo: Then you never need worry, my prince.
Leonidas: Yer prince? Ah'm goin' ta be a King.
Gorgo: It was just a figure of speech.
Leonidas: Well speakin' o' figures, yers is mighty temptin' in that next to nothin nighty ye're almost wearin'.
Gorgo: Why don't you come here and take it off?
Leonidas eagerly approaches Gorgo and reaching his hands to the straps of her gown starts to slide them off her shoulders.
Gerry: CRAP!
Zack: CUT CUT? What is the matter now?
He lets go of the right strap and we can see his bracelet has gotten entangled in the fabric.
Gerry: Ah'm stuck!
Someone from costuming runs in to untangle the bracelet and takes Lena with her to repair the damage to the costume.
Zack: I told you the bracelet was a bad idea.
Gerry: Hey, I thought it would look good. You know....make Leonidas more cool.
Zack: Leonidas is already cool. He doesn't need all these things.
Gerry: Then what's the fu cking skirt all about?
Zack: It's cute.
Gerry: Cute, aye? He's either cute or cool. Which one is it?
Zack: He's both cute and cool.
Gerry: (under his breath) An' stupid too!
Zack: What did you say?
Gerry: Why am I such a fool?
Zack: You're asking me?
Gerry: Fuc k you! I mean Leonidas. He's a bit of a pansy. How are ye going ta get people ta believe this guy became the Leonidas of 300?
Zack: Last week you wanted to give him a soft side, now he's a pansy?
Gerry: Ah, ferget it! I'm just cross.
Zack: Why are you cross?
Gerry: I don't know. Just am, that's all. I like being Leonidas. Now I get ta go back to being just Gerry.
Zack: And being just Gerry isn't enough?
Gerry: Nah. Leonidas is a man's man. Guys want ta BE Leonidas. Gerry Butler is a woman's man. They want ta fu ck me or mother me.....but no one thinks I'm tough. Ye should hear em talk about me. "Wish he wouldn't wear those bracelets." "Why doesn't he shave his neck?" "He looks good enough to eat!" What am I? A fuck in' pastry?
Zack: I thought you liked being a ladies man? That's what women do.
Gerry: Well ah'm sick of it. I want ta be a man's man too!
Zack: So, with all the action adventures you've been doing and got lined up, you should be there already.
Gerry: Yeah but to be a man's man I may end up being a cripple. I'm no' fond of pain. Everyone o' those movies ah've done has taken it's toll on me. There's a point o' no return somewhere in there. Ma body's goin' to refuse to heal.
Zack: Everything has a price. This is your ride. You get to choose.
Gerry: What, you workin' on yer soul too?
Zack: Well after visiting with your meditation guide.......
Gerry: Stuff it will ye?
Zack: Take my advice and don't take it all so seriously.
Gerry: It's what I do. How can ah not take it seriously?
Zack: Stay in shape between movies and use a stunt double. That's what the smart guys do.
Gerry shrugs his shoulders.
Gerry: Easier said then done. Ah'm getting better at it, though.
Thinking it over.
Gerry: Can ah use a body double fer this "shadow on the wall" thing?
Zack: Do you need one?
Gerry: I guess not. Ah'm just nairvous fer some reason.
Zack: No reason to be. Here comes Lena. Let's put a wrap on this movie. Go out with a bang.
Gerry: (laughing) Literally!
300 PREQUEL: DATING GORGO CLOSED SET - MOMENTS LATER
Leonidas gently slides the dress off Gorgo's shoulders. He pulls her close to feel her warmth against his bare flesh and inhale the fragrance of her scented hair. He cups her chin in his large hands and tilts her face and her mouth up to meet his.
Gorgo's arms wrap around him tenderly and her fingers caress the warm skin of his back, the camera picking up the resulting goose bumps on his skin. Her lips wrap themselves around his fleshy lower lip with gentle suction before giving his upper lip equal time. She continues exploring the rest of his mouth by touch and in detail, while her finger tips take a journey of their own, starting at his muscular shoulders and working their way down his back before slipping through the waistband of his killer skirt, recording to memory the terrain of his body, which is now starting to respond under her exploring touchhhhhhhhhhhh...........
..........whirrr....whirrr s...snap....pop sound of camera coming to halt. Apologies all. This was the beginning of a Zoni directed love scene and "ah fergot" this is a Zack Snyder directed movie.......so we must cut at this strategic point and back up whirrrrrrrr whrirrrrrrr..............
Leonidas slips the straps from her shoulder, immediately cupping her bare breasts in his large hands. Feeling his member stir, he kisses her passionately. With his back to the camera, he pulls up his skirt and shows Gorgo that he's wearing her gift.
Gorgo: (looking down) Oh my goodness Leonidas. It looks beautiful.
Leonidas: An' very useful too. Notice how much, ahem.....healthier ah look. Not that ah wasna already healthy, but now a part o' me is truly crowned King o' Sparta!
He slips the killer skirt off and she slips off her gown. After another titillating ass shot of Leonidas' bum, we see Leonidas and Gorgo only as shadows on the wall, facing each other, Gorgo's head looking down at his wedding present......(or is it her wedding present?)
Leonidas extra large shadow, tall and muscular almost towers above Gorgo and the rest of him, LARGER than life is out there for all the world to see.....truly a man of kingly proportions now.
Gorgo: I think I could really get into this dear Leonidas. You are a genius. Sparta shall have her most glorious King in you.
Leonidas: An' wait til ye sample ma stayin'' power ma sweetness. Wi this kind o weapon, tonight ah feel like ah'm goin' ta live ferever.
Gorgo: (her voice trembling now) You shall live forever! I shall will it with all my being.
Leonidas: (voice thick with passion) Wi ye by ma side, an' given' ye the best o' maself, twill be many nights an days o' **little deaths before ah come face ta face wi' the real one. Ah can live wi' that, ma love!
The shadows come together in an embrace, as their bodies become one.
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| Le petit mort (the little death). |
Zack: CUT! That's a wrap!
Wardrobe helps Lena and Gerry into bathrobes. Zack goes over and pats him on the back. He hugs Lena.
Zack: That was perfect. Only one take.
Gerry: It's a good thing, cause ye werna gettin' another one.
Gerry excuses himself and turns to head for his trailer.
Zack: Where you going sport?
Gerry looks at Zack with a poker face.
Gerry: Now where do ye think? Ah canna get this thing off until I come down.
Zack: Oh. (grinning) Sorry. Guess you got a "point' there.
Gerry: (sarcastically) The man made another funny. Maybe ye should play the Comedian in Watchmen 2 yerself. Ye could say Dr. Manhattan shrunk ye.
Zack: Sorry, but it demanded a comeback. So come back for the wrap party?
Gerry: Yeah. An' I'm bringin' a guest. She's waitin' fer me now in ma trailer. Gotta go.
Zack: (shaking his head) I should've seen that one coming.
Gerry: Yep. Ye shoulda!
He hurries off wearing the robe, his braid flying behind him for the last time.
Frank walks up to Zack.
Frank: Where's the kid going?
Zack: He's taking a Gerry type break to calm down.
Frank: You mean he takes pills?
Zack: Nah. He takes girls.
Frank: Oh.
Zack put his arms around Frank's shoulders.
Zack: Come on, let's go get some champagne. He may be a while.
The End
Disclaimer: This story takes place only in the fervid mind of Zanystonate and is totally fictional.
* borrowed from laura-444
**male ejaculation is referred to in literature as the "little death."
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