Thursday, August 4, 2011

Roman Candle Burning Low?

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
                                                                              Jack Kerouac

Is Gerard Butler, roman candle that he is, looking a little like his flame is burning low these days?  That is how I would describe the mood some of the latest photos taken of the muse during the Foreign Press luncheon at the Beverly Hills Hotel today made me feel.

As a matter of fact, my exact words at seeing them were:

"Damn, he's lovely in some of these shots, but in an ethereal way that is disturbing, if appealing."

Almost ethereal looking here.
People have been talking about his shrinking frame for some time now, but it's not so much the weight loss (described by witnesses as "svelte" or "gaunt," depending on the perspective), which I think is probably mostly healthy for him, as it is the tired/sad look that some part of me hopes is just him trying to prove to someone that he can be/look a certain way for a role that he wants.   Actors have been known to audition in this way when they have been told they may not have the right look for a part.

Is the latter just wishful thinking or is Gerry coping with something a little more than normal "Hollywood (or self) induced' stress from lack of roles offered, too much competition, aging woes,  etc.,  or is it  just jet lag from his jet setting, "burn the candle at both ends," way of life?

Even knowing as much as I always THINK I know, all that keeps going through my head at this moment is "Be well, dear muse."

Beautiful Roman Candle that is Butler
I have been dealing with a little delayed reaction from several losses myself and, empathetic person that I am, I can almost feel the sad coming off of a few of these shots.  I fervently hope it's just me being stupidly female...because I have a sentimental attachment for this person and I think a small corner of my mostly liberal, bleeding heart would shrivel up if he were not somewhere in my distant orbit.  A muse is a very hard thing to give up.

Gerry.  Whatever (if anything but my wild imagination) is going on that is making you feel low, the sun will come out tomorrow, just like it did today.

Despite the fact I have used the "roman candle" metaphor from my favorite Kerouac saying to describe you before,  the only way I want you to explode is with wonderful acclaim for a professional job well done or with a mirth or joy too heartfelt to be contained.
And, if I am being overly melodramatic in this post, my apologies. I shall write off  this momentary lapse in common sense to my own "fork in the road" search brought about by some truths reaching out from the past and some of those messy drawers I had slammed shut to cope through the storms, needing to be cleaned out.

I still remain the cockeyed optimist and life is still the great adventure.   I wish the same for you.  You are not responsible for my projection or my interpretation of what I think I see in these photos.  Only for how you really are and what you project.

Thrust out the noble chin and brace yourself for the upcoming blitz of promotion I know you dread, but goes with the territory.   Just calm yourself and handle it with grace.  Dig deep.  It's there, man.

And smile with your eyes.  It's one of your greatest assets.



PS:  Perhaps he just hated to leave NY and return to the work necessary to stay in the limelight.  Yes, I know a lot of you think he seeks this out.  I, in turn, think he is getting to hate some of it just a little, even if he does it so well.

Songs out of tune, the words always a little wrong...Canzoni Stonate

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